Hiaz.. everyday is always a brandnew day isnt it? but why do i always felt my days so lonely.. is it because my life is meaningless? i wonder who can be right beside me and give me a shoulder and let me cry. Yesterday went to fiona house studying like mad for socialstudies.. because prelim to me is very important no matter what i have to forced myself and study.. when going home.. i think of things.. think of how happy we were once. how you came and pick me up from school. is all the past that i cant bring myself up and accept this reality.. i forced myself and tell people i hate you and don't even want to care about you but my mind and my heart is not like this. so what i say here? you'll nvr know you'll nvr care.. i hate my weakness towards you.. everytime at home i was wondering if times can go back i would have treasure you.. but is too late.. today was socialstudies paper i was very scared.. i scared i cant do anything i scare what i learn doesnt appear at the paper lucky some of i study did appear i don't expect to score well but pass will do.. sleep is the only thing that my view doesnt looks to you.. i find myself so foolish.. escaping you is the way to let me have some peace in my heart.. yes i did say i will not escape you but my mind just keep thinking of the past i cant treat you like how i treat you last time so do you.. you treat me so cold that i feel like crying.. i dont know what to do anymore.. bestie??? can i really treat you like my bestie or something that i use to ?? i don know.. my mind my heart is so confuse.. went to sengkang to collect my bag.. i saw maine abit surprise abit normal.. after a few walking she send me to bus-stop and in the bus i was thinking of him.. what should i do?? can anyone tell me.. look for other guys like i did last time? i mia audition for a week already and i don wish to find guys in audition anymore. is so.. something that i wanna stop it. after my main level i don want to touch audition anymore.. when reach woodlands i went to sheryl house and find her and accompany her to the basketball training after that went to the basketball court outside and saw hsien ern they all.. than she told me he didnt pickup her call and he seems like nth had happen. hiaz.. wth.. crying in a corner and nvr tell him? wth.. i feel like telling him but.. i don know. if she wants to she will tell.. but i don think she will.. why hide your feelings to yourself.. anyway crying out is a great thing .. i always say things that i never done it myself before.. but atleast she was been love by him.. i don even know have i really did been love by him.. Hiaz.. love is blind running back the old road i had run before.. i just don wish to run a new path.. because the old road is the best moments i have ever... seeing her cry i see myself when i find myself thinking of him.. atleast she have him beside but me... i've got nothing but his coldness .. :(