Hmmmmm.. First thing, i found myself so useless -.- everything i can do is so useless. I am so foolish isnt it? I'm so stupid too. Hiaz.. sometime i feel like life is so meaningless to me because there's no joy in my life,living in a darkness and sadness day is so scary.Maybe is a thing that i found myself bah but ofcause is not potential is stupidness -.- I swear i don felt happy at all.. never ever even though i'm trying to lie to myself. I'm just not happy, not because the family.God give me a complete and beautiful family but not a beautiful life for me.I seriously trying to find happiness in myself but no matter how hard i try is useless i cant even be truthfully to myself that i'm not happy, i'm sad, i'm useless. I'm trying to change myself, i want to be more truthfully to myself and let myself be happier but who can help me? Everyday waking up is the same thing happening is so meaningless i want a day where when i wokeup i actually find myself happy and looking forward to the day but is not happening now. I don't know when is it going to happen i don't know is jackson correct maybe i'm just too young this is just stress in me but i don't even know myself. After watching the show "Fated To Love You" i realise everything is possible is just that are you willing to giveup the past and face the reality and make a goal for yourself to change your whole entire life again. And i know, without effort nothing is going to be possible because effort don't drop from the sky and don't be afraid of your past, don't scare what people say about you if you think this is the correct way and is the path that you are wanted go for it! I'm still searching, looking for what i need the most what that can really help me. All i want is just a simple life that make myself happier, life become meaningful and i could have what i want. Yesterday was National day and i posted yesterday or today the post i don't even know? so funny har? i don't even know what i posting either. Happy National Day 43th :D went to marina area there and watch the fireworks whats the point of watching when i don't even felt happy or being excited about it at all? My happiness will come? nobody knows not even myself. Today went to amk buying some stuff, i actually being naive thought that if fate really happens in this world than let me see him at here just once will do. But i know is impossible there's no fate between us there's no more love but regretness. Whenever i thought of the day that we are strangers tears just rolled down from my eyes.I actually regret of what i say and done but is all too late.. I just wanted to have a chance to say to him I'm Sorry and Thanks For The Memories You've Given To Me. Thats all i wanted to say to him.. i don't expect for miracle or the way he treated me like how it was last time. I've actually never expect much i just want to be more happier... i dont know why i went to church service i thought i could forget everything i could find my goals in my life but i couldn't find it at all.. I just hope time can prove everything. JIAYOU LIMHUIXIN!!! :]


Regretful is a really scary word,
For what i have done to you.
I didnt really know myself
That i actually kill your feelings.
I regret it so much..
I'm sorry but all this cant turn it back
Anymore.. I'm sorry i didnt treasure you
at all. I had never ever knew this is going to
happen if i were to know i will never done
it in the first place. Really thanks for
every memories you have given to me,
I will never ever forget because the memories
has you.All i could do now is to let you be part of
my life story because i cant forget about you.
I remember you told me you are useless but
i never think it that way.Everybody is not perfect,
include me.I've regret so i'm trying to save it and
return to you all the good that you've given to me.
In the first place i seriously didnt see you in my
mind but you treated me so good that i actually
slowly fall in love with you.. but we are just not
fated to be together. Whenever i need you,
you will never be there.. Thats all the past,
I can only put it in my deeply heart. I don't know
how you felt because i've never asked you about it,
even i asked you, you will remain silence. This is the
first time a guy make me so sad and if to let me had
a choice again, i will tell you and tell the whole world that,
I love you and I don't wish you to go and
I miss you but you will never know about it forever....
Jiayous To Him! :)